Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
