I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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