So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
