his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
