i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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