What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize
