I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
