I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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