So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
