don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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