now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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