you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize
