We won't sleep together?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
