Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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