If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
