She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
