don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
