Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So many bounce houses so little time
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
then he tried to convert me to islam
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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