if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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