there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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