he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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