She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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