Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize