Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
