Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
