butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
