Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
