I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
