I am spending my child support on dildos
it was like eating out sand paper
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
