Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
