Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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