what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
