i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
