when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
