if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
