Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
