I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
