Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i think i scared a bird with my dick
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
