You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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