Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
