the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize