walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
