Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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