And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
