what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
