I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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