Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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