Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
COCAINE IS GR8
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
