your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
