I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
