My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
In other news, I just burned my penis
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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