forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
