I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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