the condom got lost in my hair
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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