I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Dicks are not precious.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
