My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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