I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
