Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
